Negotiating From a Position of Strength

The husband got an ultimatum yesterday. If he wanted anything to wear to work Friday, he needed to haul his dirty clothes out of the bedroom and get them in the hall for me so that I could get them washed today.

Flylady is a wonderful program, but it only goes so far if you're not getting any cooperation from the people you're living with.

I rather frequently have to use ultimatums with him. I hate doing it, but he will procrastinate past the point of any degree of sanity if I don't. There are some things he just hates doing and will go to the most ridiculous extremes to avoid. For instance, when we first got married he had two pair of pants, both pretty worn. Eventually, one pair wore out completely, leaving him with only one pair.

Now, one of the things this man hates is shopping and stores. I told him that, while I was willing to help him out by doing at least some shopping for him, he was going to have to go with me the first time, so that I could get his sizes. He didn't want to do this. So, there we were, one pair of pants to his name, needing to be washed every night so that he'd have something to wear to work the next day.

Have I mentioned how stubborn he is?

Of course, since we were newlyweds and I was still trying to prove my housewifely abilities, I was the one doing all the laundry. It didn't take me long to lose patience with the new status quo. One night I lost my temper, completely. I let him know, in tones not unlike a car alarm, that he was doing his own laundry from then on, unless he wanted to go shopping.

We went out the next night. He bought me dinner, too.

Have I mentioned he's pretty easy to get along with, given the right incentives?