Alice

When I first learned I was infertile I leaned on a good friend at church who was also infertile. Alice had raised two adopted children and I thought she was happy with the way her life turned out. She loved babies and was the unofficial grandma for every little one at church. It seemed like you never saw her without a tiny baby in her arms. She loved children and they loved her. When I was pregnant with the toddler I couldn't wait to see her face the first time she held my new baby.

It never happened. After the toddler was born, Alice avoided me. She never even looked at the baby, much less held her. I assumed it was just too painful for her, after the way we'd bonded over our infertility, so I didn't push it. I didn't want to hurt her more and I thought, given time, she'd feel better and our friendship would get back to where it was. She was killed in a car accident though, when the toddler was six months old. I still miss her.