A Job, Maybe

Well, we have a job, but I'm not too happy about it. The husband hasn't accepted it yet, and I'm not to sure if I want him to. The more I think about it, the more unhappy I am.

In most ways, this is a good job. There's job security, a good chance of moving around in the organization to a better job if he wants, pretty good benefits, and we'll be living near his family which will give the children a chance to get to know their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. We'll be making a little less than we were here, once you take cost of living changes into account, but that's OK, we can make it work. The husband would be in an area he is familiar with and really enjoys. He would find the job fulfilling and would feel like he is doing something worth spending his time on. We'd also be living in an area where we could take advantage of his military benefits, which would help stretch his paycheck.

The deal breaker is this: The husband would be expected to work 12 hour shifts, one month days, the next month nights.

Now, he worked nights before. It was not good for him. To a certain extent, he's never really recovered from it. We also didn't have children at that time, so it was easy for me to switch over to his schedule. Our life was rather unusual, but it was easy to work out, except for the damage to his health.

I'm really worried about what this could do to him. We'll have two very active, noisy little ones running about, shrieking when Daddy is trying to sleep. Just when he adjusts to one schedule, he'll be required to switch to another one.

I think if we take this job there's a good possibility we're heading for a train wreck.

On the other hand, it's not like employers are beating down our door and that does tend to trump any objections. The husband is positive he can handle it (overly optimistic, him? Oh no, he's not too optimistic! He's just got this incredible ability for living in la-la land, that's all), and that he can move over to another position if he can't.

So far, he has my tentative agreement, but I haven't made up my mind completely. The way we work major decisions like this is that either of us has veto power. In other words, we must both agree on the suggested change to our lives or we maintain the status quo and don't do anything at all. I can't think of a time either of us has ever vetoed the other. We've always been able to work out a compromise, but I don't think a compromise is possible on this. It's too much of a binary decision. Yes or no, take the job or not. No third possibilities anywhere in sight.

We have to give them an answer soon, and I'm agonizing over my decision. Sacrifice my husband's health or trust his positive outlook?

Have I ever mentioned what a cynical pessimist I am?