Nothing changes but the size (and price) of their toys.

Our new van has cruise control. I like cruise control. It makes it easier to avoid speed creep on the freeway, not to mention giving my foot and leg a break. And, yes, it's kind of cool, too, to be driving with my foot on the floorboard and not on the pedal. What can I say? I really enjoy toys and gadgets. Just call me techno-geek.

Call the husband techno-geek too. His reasons for liking cruise control, though, would be in reverse order from mine. It's fun to use, and hey! it's useful on occasion. It's his toy and driving is only there to provide an excuse to use it.

This attitude causes some problems, because he insists on using cruise control all the time, no matter the circumstances. There we'll be, going down the street in heavy traffic, stop lights before and behind, pedestrians scattered across the intersections like so many video game points and the cruise control set to the exact speed limit. Never mind that the guy in front of us is going five miles under the limit.

Accelerating up inclines and coasting down slight hills, we'll slowly creep closer to his rear bumper, until I'm grasping the armrests in terror, muscles in my forearms rigid as I hold myself suspended slightly above the seat, my right foot pressing convulsively against the floor as if I could somehow control the brakes through sheer willpower.

It is at this point the husband will look at me and say, chidingly, "I'm using the cruise control, dear."

Ah, yes. I feel so much better now.