Look, wishing isn't going to make it go away, OK?

So my little sister is dating this guy and it's getting kind of serious. She's not too sure how she feels, but from what she was telling me about him, it's obvious that he has got it bad for her.

This is an example of the sort of thing he's been doing: They're in a southwestern state, and this is her first winter out of Idaho. She mentioned to him that she missed snow, so he blew off an important meeting to drive her two hours to a place where there was snow.

Oh, yeah. He is so in love.

There's just one slight problem. This guy doesn't believe in psychology or psychotropic medication.

This is my bipolar sister. She was diagnosed in high school when she went through a depressive episode that culminated in a suicide attempt. She's currently on a medication which works for her. No more suicidal lows, which she figures is worth losing the energetic highs. In other words, she likes her meds and fully intends to stay on them.

He knows she's bipolar. They've talked about it and about their differing views of mental illness. So far, there's precious little common ground.

I'm proud of her for the way she's handling it. She says the relationship is really great except for this, but she's not letting that cloud her judgment.

Now, here's where I get on a soapbox, so stop reading now if you aren't interested.

I made it clear before in here that I don't necessarily trust our medical system to accurately diagnose and treat mental illness. I have to say though, that I have a real problem with the idea that good thoughts, or strong character, or just trying really hard, is all you need to heal depression or bipolar disorder or any other mental illness.

Prescription drugs aren't the whole answer, but neither is throwing them away. Until we have further research to give us better answers than we have now, we're going to have to take each case individually because there simply aren't any blanket solutions. Refusing to acknowledge the complexity of the situation just creates a bigger problem down the road.

For her, for our family, this is a core element in any permanent relationships we form. This doesn't just effect our generation. There's no question what's going on in our family is heritable. We need to safeguard our children by educating ourselves and doing all we can to manage what is happening. Our spouses have to understand and accept that. Anything else just isn't going to work.

Good luck, little sister.