Wanting to be like Gillan.

I just learned Andre Norton died. Now, I can't say I was shocked because, to be honest, I didn't know she was still alive, but it was still rather sobering news.

Andre Norton had a huge impact on my life. One of the first books I was ever given, and the first book of hers that I'm aware of reading, was Octagon Magic. I was, I think, 8 years old, and it was a birthday present. It's a story about misfits, being helped to find their place by the magic of a house and its residents.

I was already a misfit, a situation that wasn't going to resolve itself for several years to come. Octagon Magic, and other books of hers with similar themes that I discovered over the years, helped to strengthen me in coping with that. The protagonists in her books weren't immune to the pain of being different, but they never gave in to that pain, and they didn't run away from it or pretend they were other than they were. They were true to themselves, clinging to the integrity of belief, personality and vision that made them who they were, even in the face of opposition and outright hatred from their families and communities.

I can't say that I made an effort to emulate her characters, because I wasn't into analyzing my reading back then. I just read the books and enjoyed them, seeking out more as I finished those books I already knew about. And as I did that, without thinking about it, her ideas found a home in my world view and I began to value my differences and my uniqueness.

Andre Norton gave me something else, too. I thought, for a long time, that Andre was a man. In fact she used that name because when she got started writing in science fiction a man had a better chance of success than a woman did. I was excited to find out the author of the books I so loved was a woman. I've wanted to be a writer since I was in the first grade. It was encouraging to have an example like her to show me what could be accomplished.

Someday I'll pull out my hardcover copy of Octagon Magic, the one I was given when I was eight, and hand it to my daughter. I hope she enjoys it as much as I did.

My favorite Andre Norton books: Year of the Unicorn, The Beast Master