More stepmom agonizing. Skip this one, it's boring.

In some ways, it's like living with an alcoholic. I went into the teen's room today to retrieve dishes. That's never a good thing. It's hard to find a place to put a foot down, there are so many clothes, papers, books and miscellaneous junk on the floor. I remember, though, when my room was that way, when I was his age, so I can overlook it (to a point.)

What really bothered me were the empty food containers all around his bed. I hadn't even noticed the container of hot cocoa mix was missing. The plastic bag that once held the animal cookies left over from the day we handled snack time at preschool was there, as was an empty package of Jello brand gelatin that I never got around to making into Jello eggs for Easter. There were scores of candy wrappers, an empty two liter bottle of soda and more.

I feel like we don't dare allow anything containing sugar into the house. It disappears as soon as it comes in. I want to get some chocolate syrup, to lure the toddler into drinking milk (she hates the stuff and throws her sippy cup across the room when I try to give it to her) but if I do the teen will get most of it, and believe me, he doesn't need it. He's stopped losing weight. He isn't gaining anything back, at least, but he's not slimming down at all and he still desperately needs to.

It's so hard to watch him make such bad decisions - school, eating, the way he treats his sisters - knowing what the consequences will probably be, and yet have to mostly just stand aside. We have so little control over him anymore. There are so many places in his life that he is starting to have to make his own decisions, with no oversight from us. I really wish he was making better ones. Sooner or later he's going to have to pull out of this. I sure hope it's before he's gotten himself in so deeply that he can't get out. I hope it's before he's flunked out of high school, developed diabetes, or taught his sisters to hate him.