I oughta be a locksmith.

I was going to go shopping this afternoon. After all we need things like tortillas, yogurt, etc. etc. Note, however, the emphasis on the word "was".

As in, "Instead of going shopping this afternoon I spent two hours trying to get various locked doors open."

I was tired this afternoon. So tired that when I got a call from my sister, we weren't very long into our conversation before I slipped into a slight doze and started babbling to her. When she got done laughing we said good-bye and I decided to take a little nap on the couch, while Gabrielle took her nap and Arielle watched a movie.

What could go wrong?

I didn't sleep long, or very deeply. 15 minutes maybe. And then I woke up, got up, and headed for the bedroom to take care of some things. Except that the bedroom doorknob wouldn't turn.

Wait a minute. Arielle in living room. Gabrielle in crib.

Oh no.

Not again.

This time, even with the benefit of experience, I just couldn't get the darn thing open for the life of me. I wound up taking it apart, only to find out the part that held the door closed still wouldn't move! So I took the teen's bathroom doorknob apart and figured out how to make everything turn.

Hooray! All is correct and as it should be again!

Except for the master bathroom, which I then discovered was also locked. At which point, seeing the look on my face, Arielle burst into tears and ran into her bedroom.

So I took that one apart too.

Now everything is fixed.

But we're still not going shopping. Arielle, as punishment for her misjudgement, is going to have to go without yogurt for breakfast tomorrow morning.

She's almost as unhappy about that as I was about the locks.