I was warned as a child of 13 ...

Things I was told as a teenager about dealing with men:

Always put on a dress and fresh makeup before your husband gets home.
(He might leave you if you look less than perfect, right?)

Eat before going on a dinner date, and only nibble in front of your date.
(You wouldn't want him to think you actually have something as unfeminine as an appetite after all!)

Just accept the fact that men have "needs." All men look at porn and visit prostitutes. You can't do anything about that and he'll leave you if you try to stop him.
(Hmm, let me see. Oh, yes. "Your clothing is on the lawn and the locks have been changed. My lawyer will be contacting you about child support.")

Don't be:
Too strong
Too smart
Too independent
Too assertive
Men don't like women like that and you'll never get a husband that way.
(Thanks for the advice. I think it would be just hunky-dory living my life pretending to be someone I'm not!)

"I can tell you're a strong woman, like me. You need to marry a man you can control, like I did, because you'll never be happy unless you're wearing the pants."
('Cause, y'know, it would be just horrible to have a marriage of equals.)

"No man wants a wife who's fat or a bad housekeeper."
(Unconditional love? Wuzzat?)

Any women reading this who remember getting similarly stupid advice?